Nellie's Life

Shannel Hanft
GUM
January 12, 2005
Intro.-chapter 5 Bakke

I need to be in the city. This book gives me such an inspiration I love gaining knowledge about urban neighborhoods because that is where my desire lies. Reading this book helps remind me of where God wants me to be. One thing we talked about in class when Tali was here, was how God wants us in the city because that is where important things take place. The city is a very powerful place and what happens in the city soon happens in the country. By bringing God to the city means it will soon go to the country and then all over. Wow, what a great way to look at it. Year by year more and more people move in to live in the city. I believe God is calling his people to the city and this class and this book just remind me of that.
I have seen a lot of stuff that goes on in the city, as far as drugs, prostitution, poverty, abuse, crime, etc. when I was in Atlanta, Georgia, and seeing these struggles I automatically want to find a solution to a very deep lying problem within the cities system, I will call this the “fix it” mentality. I have struggled with this and continue to struggle with this at times because I get frustrated, I feel like the system is so circular. No matter what I think of trying to “fix” the city, it just won’t help, if anything if will probably just make it worse. I may try one thing and find out a reason why it will not work or the drawbacks for doing that specific thing. But I tend to always run into some sort of problem. What I have found is that there is nothing I can do to change the system. I need God. God is present in the city and this problem lies deep within the system of the city.
In Atlanta I worked and lived in an urban neighborhood called Pittsburgh. At first it was very difficult to see God present in the situation of this neighborhood. I went into the neighborhood with the “fix it” mentality and came out with a completely different aspect of the city. This experience really put me in a position of helplessness and I think that is exactly where God wants me. The less of me, leaves room for more of Him. I believe the only way to heal the city is to let God do the work through me. Let God live in me and make sure I don’t get in the way. The questions I need to ask myself are where does God want me? What does God want me to do? I struggle with this all the time because I am selfish, I am very selfish, “I want, I want, I want.” This is the point where I need to ask God for a healing over myself to understand what God is doing through me. The city has a room for growth and I would love it if God choose me to be a part of that. My heart lies in the city.